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Microsoft also known as Evil-MoneyRakingIn-Soft are a business from Kazakhstan. They specialise in making poor quality products and selling them for ridiculously high prices. If one of their products appears to have no critical problems with it, it is sent off to their Pro-Errors Department, who ensure that the software gets a BSOD at least twice a minute.

Their most critically acclaimed poor quality products include: Microsoft XP (XP means eXtra Poor) and Microsoft Turd. Originally set up by Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany with the grand scheme of ripping off the world and squeezing every last penny from their consumers. At the moment they are the largest business on the Earth except for Shenton Enterprises, who are rumored to be buying them out for an estimated £72bn.

Microsoft is also known for being the spawn-point for pure evil. One of their most successful plans was to release Windows Defender on Windows XP, but when it was discovered that this actually attracts Viruses to computers they quickly withdrew it to try to hide the fact that they wished to destroy all copies of XP to force people to upgrade to Vista.